I really wish I could put my thoughts and feelings into words to be able to explain the why and the how I came to this decision. I wish I could explain what's going through my head, because it's so much more complex then the explanation I can give: I don't enjoy training for races.
Oh, how I wish my emotions were that simple.. But the reality is, it feels like I'm losing a friend. It took way to long for me to call myself a runner, to feel like a runner and now here I am giving it all up. Except I'm not giving it up.
I still want to run. I just don't want to have to run. I want to go out because I want to, with no distance or goal in mind, just for the simple fact that I enjoy running.
I'm hoping to be able to explain more, because it will be good for me to figure out these feelings. But for now, I'll share my adventure for today, a bucket list item I'm finally able to cross off.
I will say that making the Mammoth Half my last race was a careful decision I made. I plan on running it slowly (possibly a 30:1 or 30:130 interval) and I'm bringing my good camera along to take some pictures. It's a rare opportunity to be able to run this road around the lakes with no risk of cars passing by.
So here it goes. The last race expo, the last carbo-loading (on purpose) dinner, and the last pre-race jitters. Wow.. So weird.
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