Updates

I was planning on blogging more often this week. Right up until I weighed in.

I've been putting off this post due to embarrassment, but then I realized that there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. You see, I messed up and gained... A lot. But the important thing that I focused on was the fact that I went to my meeting even though I knew I was going to gain.

It was not an easy thing to see. In fact, my eyes may have filled with tears while I talked to the receptionist about why I self-sabotage (we didn't make any progress). I text my best friend and my husband. I began to realize that part of it is because I'm afraid that when I lose weight and get to goal I won't think any differently about my body and another part is that I'm afraid of seeing success and then gaining it all back again.

A 5 pound gain. Whoops! And I haven't turned it around yet.. I get 31 points a day and Tuesday I used 79 points, yesterday I used 39 and today I'm up to 61. But I'm okay with that. You see, I'm tracking. Everything. It may not be pretty, but it's going to be okay. It's a step in the right direction.

There's another thing keeping me going. I may be at a grand total lost of 0.6 after 10 weeks of paying for Weight Watchers, but I've lost inches and I'm really happy about that progress.

 

Original measurements taken 7/2:

Bust: 40"

Waist: 34.5"

Hips: 44"

Left thigh: 24.5"

Right thigh: 24.25"

Left arm: 12.5"

Right arm: 13"

 

Measurements taken 7/29:

Bust: 39.5" (-0.5)

Waist: 33.5" (-1)

Hips: 43.5" (-0.5)

Left thigh: 24.75" (+.25)

Right thigh: 24.5" (+.25)

Left arm: 12.5"

Right arm: 13"

 

Progress! You see, there are plenty of ways to track the improvements you are making and even though you may not see progress in one area you could still see it in another area.

 

I have also filled out my training plan for August. I am really excited to work my way through the month and make some physical improvements in my running and to get in some strength training. I bought a stationary bike earlier this month and I am really looking forward to doing some cross training as well. It seems pretty full, however every day has "walk dog" and Monday-Friday have "walk @ work" which have both become a part of my daily routine. I think it just helps to have them on there to track my progress.

I need a win right now, so I tried to make the calendar something that I could stick to. We shall see how the month goes before I commit to anything else. I can track and I can workout. I can make better food choices from this point on. I can be nicer to myself. Well, I can try.

 

In the meantime, I have quite a lot of other happier things going on in my life.

 

Isabel starts swim lessons on Saturday. She was finally promoted to the next level and I cannot wait to see her back in the water. She has improved tremendously this summer and I love watching her learn new things and then excel in them.

 

Patrick has inventory coming up at the end of next month. Although it means he will be at work more than he will be at home, that's okay because it also means overtime. He's also done well in every inventory he's been a part of and I have a feeling this time will be no different. I cannot begin to express how proud I am of him and everything that he has accomplished since being promoted.

 

The cat and dog are getting along better than I could have ever expected or wanted and I cannot wait to see their relationship progress. Getting Camper was a wonderful decision and Patrick and I couldn't be happier with our growing family.

 

The house is coming along. I will be posting an update tomorrow with pictures of our bedroom (my favorite room in the house). I just need to take the "after" pictures and make a post with them. Then I'll only have the living room, kitchen, laundry room and kids bathroom to update. And the yards/back garden and garage once those are completed (but those won't be done for awhile).

 

 

I do need to start blogging again more regularly. Whether it's a workout update, a mileage update, a weight loss update or just a post to get out some thoughts about how things are going or so that I can focus on something else other than the negative thoughts. I know that it helps to talk about it and get it out. I can't keep bottling it in because that's when I start to believe it.

 

So for now I can just look at what needs to happen tonight, that's as far as I need to go. And tonight's agenda is: taking Camper for a walk with Isabel, watering the plants and some chores around the house. I can commit to those things.

 

I'm going to be okay. At 185 or at 165. I know that because I know that I am me and nothing is going to change no matter how much I gain or lose. The important part is being happy with who I am in the body that I have now.

Mileage Update #4

Monthly mileage goal: 105 miles

Monthly mileage as of 7/26: 88.84 miles

Yearly mileage goal: 1250 miles

Yearly mileage goal as of 7/26: 749.55

59.96% complete

Total mileage recorded to date (1/1/12-7/26/14): 2499.55 miles

This week's mileage: 25.56 mile week

Sunday 7/20: 2.12 mile walk with dog
Monday 7/21: 2.04 mile walk

Tuesday 7/22: 2.04 mile walk, 1.34 mile walk, 2.12 mile walk with dog
Wednesday 7/23: 2.04 mile walk, 2.06 mile interval run
Thursday 7/24: 2.04 mile walk, 2.12 mile walk with dog
Friday 7/25: 2.04 mile walk
Saturday 7/26: 5.6 mile interval run-

Upcoming races:
2014
August- Arroyo Creek Half

September- Ventura Pier 2 Pier

October- Rock N Roll Los Angeles

November- Rock N Roll Las Vegas

December- Santa to the Sea and San Diego Holiday Half

2015
January I will be running 48.6 miles in my own tribute to the Dopey Challenge. I had questioned whether I still get to brag about it since it's not the actual race and I got positive feedback about still doing it without everything that the race provides. But it was suggested that I rename the challenge as it technically is not the Dopey Challenge and I agree. However, I'm drawing a blank. I cannot seem to think of anything to name the challenge that sounds good but can also be linked somehow to Dopey as that's where the inspiration came from. Suggestions are welcome!

March: LA Marathon

June: Mammoth Half Marathon

December: Santa to the Sea

I plan on running a few more races in 2015, I just haven't decided which ones. I am not setting a goal to complete a certain number of races (although it was motivating, just a little too much money to continue). I am also not setting a mileage goal once I reach the 1250 miles in a year. It was a great goal to set and I'm excited as it looks like I will be reaching my goal this year, but it occasionally took  the fun out of running. Too much math to see where I was to reach my monthly goal and how many miles I'd have to go to catch up if I had fallen behind.

I just want to run because I'm either training or for the fun of it. So next year I will be tracking my miles with no goal in mind and I will be choosing races that I've run before and have enjoyed or trying new ones that sound like fun. 

What a Week!

This past week has gone by fast and blogging has not been a high priority. Although there are updates worth mentioning.. 

After having Camper for less than a week I caught Marley and Camper coexisting.

Marley wasn't too sure at first, but it didn't take her long to realize Camper is harmless and friendly, even if she did have a difficult first day home alone.

On the first day she also jumped on the kitchen table, through the nook into the laundry room, broke a light that was going to be hung in the bathroom and ate all of the cats food. She now spends time in the backyard when we are at work and it has been working really well! 

There has also been a lot of this going on: 

Doggy kisses!!!

I went to weigh in on Tuesday night and I am so glad I did. Not just because I lost and not just because the Vice President of Weight Watchers was at our meeting, but because a member was celebrating her one year anniversary of being a lifetime member. 

Her story was inspirational and there were quite a few parts that hit home with me, especially the negative self talk and how difficult it is to not just be the one to dish it out but to also be the one receiving it. 

I ended up losing 1.4 this past week, bringing me out of the 180's. But, this week has not been the best so I'm feeling as though I will be back up next week, and that's okay. 

The main thing I learned from the meeting was when the leader asked what we had learned over the past week. I answered that I had learned that I am not defined by the number on the scale. It does not matter what it says. Obviously I'm going to still do this to try to lose weight. I want to and need to because I want to be healthy, but I am not a number. My personality is not defined by any number, not the scale or my BMI or my pant size. And the best part is what my leader had to say at the end of the meeting. There was a story about a member who had lost 70 pounds in 100 weeks. She looked back over her weight history and noticed she had lost 57 of those 100 weeks and had gained or maintained 43 of those weeks. 

Gains and maintains happen and it's okay. It's a part of the process. I'm going to be more than okay no matter what the scale says.

The only numbers I care about are my running numbers. My mileage and my pace and other things that I can measure and improve on. 

As of today I have gone 88.84 miles for the month of July, 749.55 miles for the year and 2499.56 miles since I started tracking on January 1, 2012.

I may have skipped my long distance run of 3 miles last week due to spending time getting the house ready for family and choosing to stay home playing with the dog. I justified it with the fact that the weekend before was a half and I would be increasing my mileage with the more frequent walks with Camper. 

I was not looking forward to running 5.5 miles alone this morning. I can handle a half marathon alone because there are a lot of people around you and I find that there's always someone there when I need that support the most. It can be another runner, a volunteer, a police office directing traffic shouting out support or knowing someone is waiting at the finish line. Running alone for any distance is difficult and a feat all on its own. 

But I went out today and I ran. The first two miles were uphill and difficult but so worth it when I got to the top and could start the downhill. 

Saturday 7/26

Mile 1- 12:30

Mile 2- 11:46

Mile 3- 12:45

Mile 4- 12:18

Mile 5- 11:58

Total distance- 5.60

Total time- 1:09:22

Avg pace- 12:23

I decided to take before pictures today. A couple months late, but I needed something to compare down the road. I have my weight, my measurements and now I have this:

I'm feeling great today and have been this whole week. No matter what the results are at weigh in. 

I'm excited to be in a better place and to know what my priorities are. You can't out run a bad diet, but when running makes you happy it is worth it!

Weekend Update

No training schedule update and no mileage update this week. For the most part I'm not updating either because this past week was rather uneventful workout and running-wise.

I've hit a dip in my motivation, but I'm going to keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I may be recruiting in order to have someone physically push me out the door for my long runs, but I know that the only person that can make me go is myself. 

I did pretty well on my training schedule up until Thursday's run. I had made a few adjustments, but sticking to the plan ended before my run Thursday and has yet to come back. But it's the start of a new week and the perfect opportunity to try again. 

It wasn't as though my weekend was filled with late mornings and no physical activity.. 

I decide to take Friday off of work as a last minute decision. There was a lot that needed to be done before Saturday's dinner with 20ish family guests. My plans changed though...

While on my lunch break at work on Thursday I decided to look online at the local animal shelter. Patrick and I had been discussing the possibility of getting a dog, we just didn't know when. Then I saw this:

And I fell in love. 

It didn't take long for me to decide to go up Friday afternoon. I spent part of the morning at the hospital with my family in the waiting room while my brother in law had surgery (all went smoothly) and then picked up Isabel from camp at noon. We went straight to the shelter. I wasn't sure if she was "our" dog and wanted to see her personality and how well we reacted together. 

I cannot begin to tell you the connection that was made right from the start. It was very similar to when we found Marley at a different shelter. I just knew that it was meant to be. 

I also let her spend some time with Isabel before making the final decision. Again, that connection was there. She played fetch, she rolled over to let Isabel pet her belly, she remained calm when Isabel held the leash in the pen. I decided to adopt her because although we just moved, if I wait for the absolute right time to bring a dog into our family then we would never get one. 

She had been at the shelter since June 4th and I realized (after so many of the employees saying how sweet she was and that they were sad to see her go) that the reason she hadn't been adopted was because she was waiting for us. 

Meet Camper

She is incredible and I cannot believe how lucky we are. She is such a sweetheart. There's some work to do, especially with introducing her and Marley, but we have a system that seems to be working. 

I've been enjoying working with her on the leash by walking her and hope to eventually start running with her. Not crazy distances, and I will get her vet 's approval first. For now, we have a nice 2 mile route for our daily walk and it's been nice getting into a routine with her. A smooth transition. 

Saturday we had our family over for dinner and I could not have asked for a better behaved dog. She stayed on her leash for most of the day, usually by my side. My dad also held the leash for part of the time, but you could tell in her eyes when she saw me that I'm already her mom. Melts my heart..

I didn't take pictures at the barbecue and I have no idea why and am regretting that decision now. I didn't get to spend as much time as I would have liked with everyone and I regret not making a point to be there physically because I was mentally stressed about how the day was going to go. I need to work on that.

Sunday afternoon was great because my mom and I took Isabel and my niece, Emma, to a play put on by a local acting camp for kids. The were putting on The Wizard of Oz and wow, were some of these kids talented!! Especially the actress playing Dorothy. Chills when she sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

It was a fantastic weekend and I am so happy for our family that just grew by four feet (or paws). She's a happy Camper!

Home Update- Isabel's Room Before/After

The theme for Isabel's room was by far the easiest of all of the bedrooms. The rest of the rooms went off of a color, Isabel's room is based on a movie.

Since seeing Frozen shortly after it came out in theater's last year, Isabel has been obsessed.

Obsessed may be an understatement...

For awhile there she was watching the movie multiple times a day as well as reading books and the script of the movie. She always wanted her hair in a braid (either one on the side to be Elsa or two on either side to be Anna). The CD was on repeat in my car and we would both sing along to each of the songs, always waiting until the song was over before turning the car off.

It was difficult to really decorate Isabel's bedroom in the apartment the way we really wanted to. She wanted all of her Frozen stuff up, but sharing a room with Kaleb and Leah made it difficult. They weren't with us all the time, but enough that I didn't want them to have to spend their time in a kid's room. I wanted it to feel like their room too.

Now that they have their own rooms, I am able to go with the Frozen theme and I really like how it turned out..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

According to Patrick, we overdid the Frozen a bit. According to Isabel, she loves it and wants more. I'm really happy with how it all turned out, and she's keeping it picked up and clean. Considering how their room looked at the apartment after she played I am quite surprised and pleased with the way we are both keeping our promise to keep the house neat and organized.

It definitely helps to have a larger space and a place for everything to go.

I was walking through the house last night and I just couldn't help but smile to myself. I feel so incredibly lucky that this is our home. I love what we have done to make it our own and I am looking forward to many more weekend projects to continue the improvements. It's going to feel strange when we have completed our to do lists and can actually have our house warming party.

We are very grateful to have a small get together at our house this weekend and I am so excited to be able to show our house off to Patrick's family. His cousin is in town and there will be about 20 or so people here for dinner Saturday night. It will be so much fun to get to host a small party and spend some time with his family. I really lucked out when I married Patrick, in so many ways.

For a final before/after picture..

 

The baby birds have hatched! They seem to be doing well. Momma bird is doing a fabulous job at taking care of them and it is amazing to watch her from the kitchen window. More often than not she is sitting on them, but I love watching her feed them. I was watering a couple of plants in the backyard and she flew off of the nest and you could see their little heads bobbing around looking for her and for food. It is amazing to watch.

Meeting Jeff Galloway

I will never be the type of person who can run 26.2 miles straight. I just don't have the body that can do something like that. I will always be amazed by people who can run that distance, hell any distance straight through. I can't even go half a mile without thinking I'm going to die. I've done it (a 5K on the treadmill without walking once) but it was difficult.

And yet I have completed 26.2 miles. Twenty-six point freaking two. It's not something that I thought I would ever do because I never thought about doing it. When Rachel mentioned running a marathon and I decided to join her I didn't really have a plan on how we were going to do it. She wanted to join a running group, I did not. I was afraid that my running style would be something people would make fun of. I thought I'd slow people down. I thought too much.

Rachel quickly found a group and went to a meeting. She asked me to join her for one meeting, just one. If I hated it I didn't have to come back. So I went, and I loved the group and loved the people and loved the method.

The Galloway Method. It's fairly simple. It focuses on intervals. You run for a certain amount of time and then walk for a certain amount of time. You repeat these intervals for your planned distance. Rachel and I currently run 30 seconds and walk 1 minute. There is a formula to these intervals and a way to help you reach your goals. I plan to eventually up my intervals, but for now I am comfortable and I know that I can reach my goals using these times.

To me, Jeff Galloway is amazing. His method has helped me to not only complete races and become a runner, but it has helped me fall in love with running. Before joining this group I never considered myself a runner, even on the rare occasions that I got out and did it (usually with my iPod on because it was the only way I could make it through a run). I would run a song, walk a song and repeat. I hated every moment of it. I would have a set course and end up taking a different course in order to go home early.

Now I only listen to music on runs with distances longer than 13.1 miles. Now I tend to see someone running down the street and I look with envy, wishing I too could be out running even if I have a run planned or if I've already gone for my run for the day. Now I have more drawers in my dresser dedicated to running attire than I do every day clothes.

It's an addiction... There is no cure. And yet it's also my therapy. Hell, it's cheaper than therapy.

I had the opportunity to meet Jeff Galloway at the running store we met at for our long runs in August of 2012. He also held a class in the morning, however due to some financial difficulties at that time I chose to not partake in this. The meet and greet was free and I couldn't pass up meeting the man that taught me to love something I despised so much only a year prior.

I had so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to let him know that he had changed my life. I mean, between joining the group and meeting him I had completed 1 marathon, 4 half marathons, a few 5K and 10Ks thrown in there, a mud run and many hours of training runs. I had also PR'd my 5K time, my 10K time, my half marathon time and I had made multiple goals for the future. And there has been so much running since then.

When it was my turn to meet him I froze. I think the only things that came out of my mouth was my name (so he could sign my book) and a thank you after we took the picture. Still one of the highlights to my running history.



Weigh In #8

The reason I feel like I haven't been giving this my all was because I had a fear that if I had (what I would consider) a good week where I ate well, splurged a little, tracked everything and exercised and lost very little (less than half a pound), maintained or gained then it would mean that I failed. I feared being judged or disappointing others.

But I started to realize that I would rather try my best and see what happens. I started to realize that no one cares about my weight loss the way I do. I started to realize that no one should judge me for this, regardless of what happens at weigh in.

So I made it my only goal to track all week, and I did..

I tracked the 51 activity points I earned and everything I ate using them. I tracked the eating out and the eating in. I tracked the beer and s'more I drank and ate while sitting around the fire pit. I tracked the pot luck lunch I had at work. I tracked the weekly points. I amazingly ended Monday night with exactly zero points. I didn't go over..

The results??

Starting weight: 185.4

Current weight: 181.2

Weekly +/-: 0.2

Total +/-: -4.2

I lost a minimal amount of weight last night, what I had previously feared. And I survived. 

Not only did I survive, but I was ecstatic! I had a talk with myself before weigh in. I basically said whatever happens, happens. The number on the scale does not define me or matter in any way other than showing me what I weigh and the only reason that matters is because it would be better for my health and my running to be in a healthy weight range. I told myself that the scale lies sometimes and the hard work you put into it doesn't always show right away.

As a daily weigher, my weight fluctuated this week as it always does, however it very rarely went above 179.8, except for on weigh in day. Funny how that happens.. Instead of pouting about it, I've decided to continue my tracking streak because it makes me feel in control and, well, fantastic!! 

This week was an absolute success in my mind. Not every week is going to be a 51 activity point week, and some weeks are going to have more temptations than others, but I'm simply ready to do this and ready to get out of my own way.

I faced my fear this week and I won. I can't explain how amazing I feel knowing that I can do it again this week. 

My goal for the next week is to continue tracking. It takes 21 days to make a habit, so I'm doing one better and making each goal last a month before adding in another one. That way it will already be a habit before I start doing something new. 

Here's onto another fantastic week!

Shoreline Half Marathon- Race Recap

July 13, 2014

Start time: 8am

Weather- low 70s

Felt like- HOT! Which is weird, because it was by the beach and because it was about 20 degrees cooler than it has been the past few weeks.

As with all of the races I have participated in put on by Elite Sports Ventura County, this race was organized and started on time. They even spend time before the race going over the course.. 

As with all of the races I have participate in put on by anyone, I made a plan to go out slow and steady. I wanted to use this race as my long distance training run for this week, which is supposed to be 1-2 minutes slower than your race day pace. 

I knew that race day jitters/adrenaline would push me to go out faster than I should be going, so I told myself to try to stay around a 12:30-13:30 minute mile. But then I got to the start line..

This race is half number 16 overall, half number 8 of 14 for my goal for this year. It's not my first race and it wasn't my first solo race either. For whatever reason though, I got a strange panic attack before the race started. I stood there doubting myself, which is not what you want to do 5 minutes before you start your 13.1 mile run.

It went away pretty quickly after the race started, and I can honestly say that the thing that helped were the spectators. The shouts of encouragement pushed me to focus on what I needed to do in that moment. Focus on mile one instead of looking on to being finished. 

I need to remember to look up the course before I sign up.. I usually don't have a problem and definitely prefer and out and back course that begin and end in the same place if not very close by. There are very few things running related worse than having to walk a mile or more to your car after a race. This particular course included a 5.5 mile loop that you had to run twice. The horror! 

But in all seriousness it does play a mind game with your head when you are running by the same things you've already seen. 

I had a few difficult moments during the race. A few "I'm done/over this" thoughts. And a few texts for support were needed from my mom and Patrick. I made it though. I may have started stronger then I planned and may have hit a slower paced middle, but I finished strong and with a smile on my face.

Total distance: 13.06

Total time: 2:44:19

Mile 1- 12:22

Mile 2- 12:18

Mile 3- 12:16

Mile 4- 12:42

Mile 5- ??? (I forgot to look at my watch)

Mile 6- 12:29

Mile 7- 12:57

Mile 8- 12:36

Mile 9- 13:05

Mile 10- 12:57

Mile 11- 13:00

Mile 12- 12:52

Mile 13- 11:56