So That Happened..

Well, week 9 of Weight Watchers proved to be not quite the motivating week I had hoped. In fact, I fell even farther off track. 

I gained 3.8 this week. I'm now down 1.2 pounds in 9 weeks. 

Not quite the course I had hoped to be on, but it's my course and my journey and I'm owning it. The good and the not so good. The losses and the gains. It's all a part of it. 

So I'm going back to basics this week. Tracking and more water. It's so simple, but yet it's the easiest thing to stop doing. 

I also need to go back to basics in other areas of my life. 

I'm spending a large portion of my time crocheting. It's awesome because my Etsy store is up and running (www.etsy.com/shop/BabyBlanketLoveBug) and I've received quite a few orders already, but it means that other things are suffering- like my house and my fitness. 

My plan is to mix it up and spend some time cleaning then take a break and crochet and repeat until it's done. I can do it all, and I will. 

Update

I weighed in Saturday morning and have yet to post my stats, for no other reason than I've been spending literally every second of my spare time crocheting.. 

I'm highly motivated to make this side business a success..

Now if only I could bottle that motivation and use it towards weight loss, healthy eating and working out.

Unfortunately, that's not how it works. And although I still want to lose weight and workout and eat better, it's not quite happening because my focus is elsewhere. So, new game plan!

Instead of getting off track for weeks or months, gaining all of the weight I've lost plus some and wishing to get back to where I'm at now, I'm going to end this self destructive cycle and get back to basics. 

Healthier food.

Water.

Movement.

After a quick road trip (17 hour drive each way) to Colorado for a funeral, I derailed my eating. I gained 2.2 at weigh in. I wasn't upset. In fact, I sent the following to my close friend and one of my biggest supporters:

This mindset is how I'm going to be successful..

Not much changed since Saturday though. And it finally got to tonight when I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I haven't felt that way, I haven't thought those negative thoughts in a very long time. And I'm not allowing them to take over again. 

So I committed. To myself. To my friends and family. To a Facebook group I belong to. To anyone that would listen. I'm committing for myself, but I may need that extra support/help/motivation until.(and even after) it becomes a habit again..

The original plan was to work on it tomorrow. Better food choices and a daily workout. Nothing crazy, just daily movement. But then I text my mom and got this back:

So instead of making an excuse, of staying in bed to crochet or fall asleep at an early hour, I'm out on the bike peddling away. 

30 minutes and I feel like a hot, sweaty, awesome, strong, happy woman!!! 

8pm, 85 degrees, 43% humidity.. Fun!! 

I have the best group of people surrounding me though. My own set of cheerleaders. 

And I try to be the same for them.. But more importantly, I try to be the same for myself. No amount of support from others is going to do anything if I don't believe in myself.

And I really do :) 

My Next Big Adventure

Patrick and I have had many conversations about how to get out of debt faster so that we can build up our savings. We're always working on both, and in the grand scheme of things or debt isn't that bad.. But it is debt and I hate it all the same.

Our conversations usually end with both of us having no idea what to do. Besides not spending on unnecessary items and putting the credit cards away we've been at a loss.

Neither of us go to Starbucks often (if at all), we don't have gym memberships, we don't subscribe to magazines or newspapers, I don't get mani's and pedi's, etc.. 

We did go through a short phase a few months ago that we both spent a little more than necessary, but we both got back on track pretty quickly. 

We also spent quite a bit when Patrick had to fly to Colorado to visit a friend who was in a coma, and then we both drove a few weeks later for the funeral. 

Things happen. I'm not expecting us to completely stop living or to expect no emergencies to happen. But, at the same time, our savings are now all but drained and it's becoming more difficult to live paycheck by paycheck.

After a discussion about future plans, the goal to get out of debt and build up savings has become my #1 priority (more so than before).. 

Unfortunately neither of us can get a second job. Patrick works in retail, and although he is the manager and does the schedule, it's not realistic for him to have a set schedule. On top of that, our time with the big kids is sporadic already, adding a second job to his schedule would mean even less time. As for me, I currently work 8:30-5. My commute to pick up Isabel is approximately 30 minutes on a good day. If I were to get a second job, I wouldn't be home until at least 10 or so. And my weekends would be non-existent. When would I spend time with Isabel and Patrick? 

So, while driving to Colorado I made the decision to try to find a job where I could work from home as a way to have a small second income to go towards debt. I've thought about this before, but have always felt like the postings were get rich quick schemes and/or not legitimate. 

So, while working on a blanket that I am making for my mom:

While driving through the Rocky Mountains:

I decided to start a side business crocheting baby blankets:

Thanks to some very good friends, I'm already starting to get orders and I'm working hard to get them all done quickly. I'm staying organized by getting need by dates and working on them in that order. 

My first completed order:

My second order in progress:

I'm really hoping that I can make something out of this.. My goal is to work on the custom orders I've already received and then work on making a bunch to place on Etsy to sell. 

I'm excited to see where this adventure takes me!

Weigh In - Week Seven

The basics of my week food-wise:

Tuesday: sushi

Thursday: sushi

Friday: steak & lobster

Saturday: Taco Bell 

Sunday: Mexican food

Monday: crab cakes & fish tacos

The basics of my week workout-wise:

Thursday: strength, walk dog

Saturday: run, stationary bike

Sunday: 50 minute walk dog

My thoughts this morning:

I'm going to see a gain this week, and it was totally worth it. I have zero regrets and the food all week was amazing.

My thoughts this afternoon:

I really hope I don't gain more than a pound. I'd really like to stay out of the 200's, but no matter what happens, it's just one week.

Results: 

This makes me feel as though I really am living the program. Based on how much I ate this week, I gained a very minimal amount. And I'm not freaking out about it.. In fact, I'm celebrating it! 

This week I'll be in Colorado for a funeral and I know I don't make good choices on road trips or when sad, so this will be a test. I plan on tracking, drinking lots of water, and working out when possible. 

7 weeks and 7.2 pounds later. 

48 Days...

That's how long of a break I took from running. 

48 days ago, on June 21st, I ran the Mammoth Half Marathon. Well, ran/walked intervals for about 7 miles and then walked the remaining miles until I reached the finish line.

Since then I've gone from having zero desire to lace up my shoes to feeling the need to pound the pavement for awhile. It never happened though. There was always an excuse, making me believe that I wasn't ready quite yet.

And I listened to myself. I let myself rest. I let myself focus on eating better. I let the desire to start working out build up until I knew it was time.

It's time..

On Thursday, I did some strength training. Nothing too crazy or for too long. I'm still working on baby steps here and trying to make it as livable as I possibly can. I would say I did maybe 10-15 minutes of arms and abs before taking the dog for a 20 minute walk.

Friday was supposed to be a cross training day, but scheduling that in meant getting up early. I had good intentions and set my alarm for 4:50am, but continued to press snooze until it was time to get up and get ready for work.

I decided awhile ago that I need to be patience and flexible if I'm going to make this last longer than a few days. I want to make this a habit that stays with me, so knowing I can move a workout to the next day or skip it altogether if need be is huge for me..

I decided that I would add my cross training onto Saturday, which also had a run scheduled. I could easily fit in both. And I did.

I went for a run!!

I'm still in shock and can't believe I actually got dressed at 5:30pm and went out for a run.

I chose to leave the GPS watch at home. No need to worry about distance or speed right now. I just took my handy interval timer and asked Isabel to ride her scooter with me. 

30 minutes later I got home with a huge smile on my face. 

It was difficult. I was out of breath. I'm out of shape. It hurt. But I did it!! 

It's a step in the right direction..

Now off to make up the cross training from yesterday with some time on the bike.

A Night Out

We went out as a family last night for a dinner given by my dad. It was such an amazing evening with good drinks, great food, and amazing company.

There was a lot of laughter and I truly enjoyed spending time with the people I love the most.

It's not very often we get to dress up and go out for such a fancy evening (including a limo!), so we really enjoy these special occasions. 

Thankful Thursday

1. I am thankful for friends who send me pictures of the blanket I made for them and a heartfelt thanks.

2. I am thankful for PTO and getting time off to go to Colorado (definitely NOT thankful for the reasoning of the trip). 

3. I am thankful (and hopeful) for the opportunity to put Isabel into a better school. We find out Monday or Tuesday if she got in, so my fingers are crossed until then!

4. I am thankful that tomorrow is payday and that I was able to work on our budget today. Although I am not thankful for our debts, I am thankful that we have a plan and are on the same page to being debt free sooner rather than later.

5. I am thankful that I am caught up at work and continue to work on future items to be even more ahead. 

6. I am thankful for to do lists and for feeling accomplished.

7. I am thankful for Isabel's chore chart and how much smoother things are going at home.

8. I am thankful for my family and friends. I don't know what I would do without them..

Weigh In- Week Six

So the working out thing hasn't started yet, and that's okay. It will happen when the time is right. 

The fact that I'm even thinking about wanting to workout is a step in the right direction. Now if only my energy levels will stay up when I have the time to do a workout..

At least I'm still tracking daily and being as honest as I can be. That's huge! And such a positive that I can't help but brag about it. Maybe my days aren't 100% healthy, but I'm living my life and eating less than I was. Baby steps. 

In my very honest opinion, there is no "right way" of weight loss. What works for one person might not work for another. Heck, what worked for one person months or years ago might not work for that same person at a different time.

I have to just focus on what's working for me now, and this is it..

Positives from this week: 

I had weeklies left over!!

I finally for my new glasses!!

I'm in love with my new tattoo!!

I am loving the blanket I'm working on for my mom.

I've been picking out (what I consider to be) cute outfits and it's been helping my self esteem.

Thanks to my wonderful husband, who's honesty has been very much appreciated, I know which clothing to take back to the store.

I have very supportive friends and family helping us through a difficult time..

And with that, I'm motivated to take on this next week.. Whatever it may bring!

Impulsive

I wouldn't say I'm an impulsive person in most areas of my life. The only three areas I can think of off the top of my head are cutting my hair, signing up for races and tattoo's. And even the tattoo one I'm not that impulsive.

In fact, my most recent tattoo (that I got today!) was one I've wanted for the past 8 years.. I just didn't know exactly what I wanted or where.

All I knew was that I wanted a hummingbird in memory of my grandma, but finding the "right" design has been difficult. 

I looked on Pinterest and found a few I liked:

But none of them really spoke to me, until I saw this one:

It was everything I ever thought I wanted and more. 

So I went to the tattoo parlor today and had him draw me up something similar, but it's still unique.

Two hours later:

I'm in love with it and am so excited that I chose to finally do it. 

Hummingbirds are very special to me and will forever hold a special meaning. And now my grandma will be with me everywhere I go..