She was wearing workout clothing- bright shoes, a tank top and running shorts. She looked fantastic and I immediately wished that I could have the confidence to wear running shorts.
First of all, I would like to point out how much my thoughts have changed. In the past, my first thought would have been how much I wish I had her body.. Now, my thoughts are less body related and more confidence based. You see, I love when someone has the confidence to do what they want without answering to anyone else. I may not always agree, but it's not up to me, so you do you!
I've never had that confidence. I've always been too afraid of what people would think or say. Never realizing that their comments were probably not as bad as the ones I was saying to myself. I was always so critical of myself and every single decision I made.
Back to the shorts..
I went to get what I was sent to get and then took the long way back to the registers, the way that brought me by the workout section. Wouldn't you know it? The running shorts were right up front, taunting me, begging me to buy them.
I had a pair of running shorts once upon a time. A pair that I wore once, were too tight in the large size and I came home and cried after my awkward and very uncomfortable run. I swore off shorts, embarrassed by the size of my thighs and butt and filled my drawer with running capris and haven't thought of shorts since.
Until yesterday.
I thought to myself, what would be the worst thing? I take them home, they don't fit and I return them? That doesn't seem so bad..
It's been a secret dream of mine to have runners legs. Those tight, toned looking legs that you can just tell by looking at them that that person is a runner. I don't, and it's going to take a lot of work to get there, but I will one day. And now I have the shorts to wear when that day comes..
I decided to by the XL shorts with no shame. I'm blessed in that area and I embrace it at this point in my life.
After having no motivation to workout or run the past four days I made a decision to test out my new shorts after dropping Isabel off at school. I would run the 7 miles from her school back home, wearing the shorts. A small test run to see if I would be able to wear the shorts on race day since it's supposed to be warm out.
Not once did I think about my thighs and the jiggle in my wiggle. I was too busy pulling the shorts down after each interval. Not the best thing to think about doing for 26.2 miles, so they may not be race day attire, but they were good enough for a shorter run and will be great for walking or biking at home and even for strength training.
In the past, I would look at a picture of myself from any angle and be able to point out 146 different problems with my body and my appearance.. You know what I see in that picture? Well, besides the photo bombing cat... I see muscles in my legs. It's a start!!
My goal for the LA Marathon next weekend is to PR. If it happens, great! If not, there's always the next one in May. In order to PR, I would like to finish in 5 hours 50 minutes, meaning I would need to maintain around a 13:20 pace.
Today I ran 7.06 miles after doing absolutely nothing for 4 days. Add on top of that a constant head wind and I was hurting for the majority of the time. But my pace was pretty close to where it needs to be come race day, so there is hope.
M1- 13:19
M2- 13:34
M3- 13:27
M4- 13:32
M5- 13:29
M6- 13:19
M7- 13:25
Total distance- 7.06
Total time- 1:34:53
Avg pace- 13:27
Here's to making the next 10 days the best they can be. Healthy eating, a strength workout or two, lots of walking and a short run or two or three.. I suck at tapering! I'm either one extreme (doing nothing for 4 days) or the other (wanting to do it all). It's probably just the endorphins talking, but I'm ready to do this!!
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