Last Long Training Run Before Tapering

(Warning: there is a picture of my foot, more specifically my heel after a blister)

The training schedule has me running 20 miles today. 

The thought is nerve-wracking and makes me doubt myself. Doubt my training. Doubt if I'm ready for a marathon in 14 days.. 

That negative doubting is not going to get me anywhere. In fact, the power of thinking is a strong one when it comes to running. Most of the time, you're running with your head, not your legs. Physically, running long distances can be painful. Mentally? It's excruciating. 

So, why do I do it? Why do I keep signing up for races? Why do I dread the training but ignore that and just keep putting one foot in front of the other? 

Because there is nothing else like it. At least nothing else I've found yet.. 

I love my running shoes..

I love the feeling when I'm done... 

I love crossing the finish line...

I love the bibs... 

I love the medals...

I love the pride I feel in myself when I set a goal and reach it...

I love the pride my family feels when I set a goal and reach it...

 

I love the outdoors... 

I love the friends I've made...

I love the places I've been lucky enough to run in...

I love the fact that I have lost toenails and the general appearance of my runners feet... 

I love it all.. 

But, sometimes it can be difficult to motivate myself to go for the run I have scheduled. No matter how much I know I need to train, no matter how much I know it will benefit me, tying those laces, that first step, those first few miles are difficult to forget. 

But finishing a long run.. Heck, even finishing a short run is a fantastic feeling. It's just so much easier to remember the pain than the pride... I need to work on that. 

I decided that this weekend I could spread the 20 miles between the two days rather than do it all at once. Again, it's not ideal, but it will get done and that is the important part. 

I knew that today I had to do a minimum of 12 miles in order to reach my mileage goal for the month. I also knew, as I was walking on the treadmill that the more I did today the less I would have to do tomorrow. I ended the day with over 15 miles and am proud of that. More walking than running, but I'll get back out for a run tomorrow, even if it's raining. 

26.2 miles is going to hurt on March 15th, but I'm hoping the excitement and thousands of other runners will help push me through when my body gives out. And of course the support from my family while I'm out there running. I always know when I've hit my wall and I always know who I can turn to for support. 

I'm actually looking forward to finishing up my training tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to tapering though. I suck at tapering. It makes me angry. And I tend to get miles in anyway.

I'm hoping that this past month and a half of training that did not go as well as I had hoped was for a reason and taught me something.

It taught me that I do love to run and that I need to appreciate it while I can still do it. It taught me that I need to train properly, including more strength training and better eating.

Oh, and no more marathons after this year...