Week Two- Training

Two weeks of training completed! 

While out on today's training run I kept thinking about where I was. A year ago I was running with ease. Three years ago I weighed 40 pounds less. I could keep going, but I think you get the picture..

Basically I haven't been allowing myself to celebrate the progress I am making because it's not as good as it's been before.. 

But it's better than yesterday. And that's the only me I should be comparing myself to. 

I may have weighed less, I may have been more consistent with running, I may have done more, but I didn't appreciate it.

I didn't see how good I looked when I was 40 pounds lighter. Now I wish I could look that way. I didn't celebrate the races I completed, instead I thought about how I could have done better or started focusing on the next one.

I'd rather be this me, the heavier, slower version of me because I'm mentally in a better place. I'm appreciating my body the way it is, I'm enjoying the training I'm putting my body through, I'm celebrating all the steps along the way.

This week I lost 1 pound. I'm down a total of 5.6 pounds and have 40.8 to go. I could sit here and think about how I've been going to meetings for 13 weeks and I should be down more. I could think about how I am not doing everything I can, but instead I'm celebrating the fact that I'm 5.6 pounds lighter than I was 13 weeks ago.

Today's training run was a scheduled 5.5 miles. I ended up going for 6.04 miles, walking the majority of the last two miles. Again, I could think about how I used to be able to consistently run without taking extra walk breaks, I could think about how it didn't used to feel this difficult. Instead, I'm going to compare myself to last week. 

Last week was 4 miles. I walked a lot. I couldn't catch my breath. My heart rate wouldn't go down.

This week I only took two extra walk breaks during the first four miles. I did end up walking the majority of the last two miles, but it's progress, and I finished.

To be perfectly honest, I'm just surprised I got out of bed and did it. And my overall average pace really isn't so far off from where I'd like to be. But I can't expect to be there on week two after taking a few months off from everything, and weighing what I do. 

I've never tried to train for a marathon at the weight I am now.. It's hard. Like, really hard. And that's okay. Because it will get easier as time goes on. My heart rate gets really high really fast, but I'm listening to it and taking those extra walk breaks as needed. 

No shame in walking, as long as I'm doing it. That's what I'm telling myself. 

Who knows, maybe I'll make it next week with no walk breaks..

But until then I'm focusing on my eating, water intake, and getting in activity throughout the week.